| Although just outside one of our nation's most popular | | | | a route of historic sights and amazing natural wonders |
| national parks, there are no glass-and-steel | | | | -- all stops interesting and educational, but all the kids |
| condominiums, no cappuccino shops, no traffic jams. | | | | want to do is play miniature golf? We saw them here. |
| Cave City retains its quaint, Kentucky hill atmosphere. | | | | The family vehicle, over-loaded with all the trappings of |
| Oh sure, there are the golden arches, motels, and gas | | | | a voyage across the continent, pulled to the side of |
| stations found along any interstate highway, but the | | | | the road, its occupants happily whacking golf balls |
| rest of Cave City is a rustic example of ticky-tacky | | | | through the turning blades of a miniature windmill. Dad |
| tourism. On a recent visit to Mammoth Cave, we pulled | | | | looked frustrated to be playing miniature golf this close |
| in to Cave City to have a look around. | | | | to the longest cave in the world, but was probably |
| The first thing we saw as we left the freeway was | | | | happy just to have them out of the car for a while. |
| Guntown Mountain/Wild West Attraction, complete | | | | The Cave City newspaper, ironically named The |
| with cable car rides, a Ferris wheel, and cave tours. | | | | Progress, was a refreshing barometer of the social |
| Lining the road to the park, were bumper boats and | | | | health of Kentucky's small towns. Instead of the |
| miniature golf courses. Next to a pay fishing pond, | | | | indecent personal ads we saw back in big city |
| which was hardly more than a mud puddle, larger than | | | | newspapers, the news in Cave City reported |
| life statues portrayed a female hillbilly hound chasing | | | | something like: Bill and Bertha Henry went to the Horse |
| her no-account husband hound with a raised frying | | | | Cave Cafe for dessert and coffee after enjoying a |
| pan. Nearby, there was an alpine slide, horse stables, a | | | | show at the Horse Cave Theater last Wednesday |
| haunted house, a haunted maze, and antique shops. | | | | night. They were reported to have had thoroughly |
| The tackiest of all was a Golgotha theme park, topped | | | | enjoyed the evening. |
| with three wooden crosses, and skirted by a go-cart | | | | In one issue, there were advertisements for every |
| track. There were tombstones at every hole on the | | | | church in town -- along with a schedule of the area's |
| miniature golf course. | | | | most popular gospel singing groups. There were |
| Closer to the park, rock shops featured cut-your-own | | | | engagement, wedding and anniversary notices, the |
| geodes, arrowheads, fossils, and hawked colorful | | | | results of the volunteer fire department Children's |
| chunks of glass slag as exotic artifacts. Every gift | | | | Beauty Pageant, and an announcement for the Cave |
| shop had souvenir shot glasses, little silver spoons, tiny | | | | City Kids Parade. There was a picture of Bobby |
| silver bells, commemorative salt-and-pepper shakers, | | | | Thornton holding a 23-pound flathead catfish caught in |
| rulers, coffee mugs, key-chains, and banners, all | | | | the Nolin Reservoir, and a picture of Fluffy the cat and |
| decorated with Kentucky or Mammoth Cave logos. | | | | Bubba Robertson (the fireman who rescued her from |
| They all had corncob pipes, coal carvings, local | | | | a house fire). |
| chewing tobacco, and sugar-smoked hams. | | | | I read a notice for the annual civic celebration--the |
| With a dollar, we paid our way through a curtained | | | | Cave City-Floyd Collins Good Ole Days, held the |
| doorway in the back of one such shop. It opened to a | | | | second weekend in August. Events included a black |
| wildlife museum containing the musty, moldering | | | | bean supper (all the beans and cornbread you can eat |
| remnants of stuffed, exotic and domestic animals. | | | | for $3.00), lawn mower pulls, face painting, and the |
| Behind the glass of one exhibit, an eastern coyote | | | | Groove Grinders dance band. Plus, Archie and Junior |
| stalked its prey -- a sad, neglected squirrel (on its back) | | | | play the Irish fiddle and guitar. There was to be a kids' |
| stiff legs pointing skyward. Down the road, a wax | | | | peddle pull, an outhouse race, cow patty bingo and chip |
| museum boasted look-alikes of history's famous, | | | | toss, the Barren River Cloggers, a pet show, a |
| presidents to performers, and the entire cast of the | | | | Caveman Chorus, antique tractor pulls, and adult fun |
| Last Supper. Cave-tour billboards were ubiquitous. | | | | contests. I have no idea what adult fun contests are, |
| There was even a Wigwam Motel, where instead of | | | | so don't ask. But it was obvious the Cave City-Floyd |
| cabins, 15 concrete teepees in a semi-circle faced the | | | | Collins Good Ole Days had something for everyone. If |
| highway. | | | | you ever plan to visit Mammoth Cave, make sure that |
| Why is it, when America goes on vacation, Dad plans | | | | Cave City is on the way. |